The most dire (but often funniest) feature of economy class is not the “so narrow I can barely open my newspaper without it dangling in the guy-next-to-me’s coffee” or the sheer crowdedness, it’s always the colorful cast which happens to have booked the flight with you. Here’s an eclectic mix of the worst breeds of airline passengers. Enjoy!
1. The badly behaved kids flying alone
By alone I mean that their parents have removed themselves from anywhere near their offspring’s presence in order to get some peace and quiet, to the detriment of the passenger’s peace and quiet. Far removed from mummy and daddy’s not-particularly watchful (or considerate) eye, they’ll make everyone on the plane wish they were dead. They’ll hit the back of seats when the screens don’t work, they’ll mess around with their food, and will probably end up laughing hysterically when their little brother starts crying.
2. The family who’ve never flown before
At first, they’ll be delightful, as ignorant and gullible as a new born calf, but after a while their presence is guaranteed to wane.
Invariably, the group will consist of: An old grandfather whom the 60’s did not treat too well, the well behaved, pony-tailed young daughter with a hip pack, water bottle and miniature box of board games, the young son who totes a rather useless colorful backpack full of toys and juice, an overweight mother, burdened with money belt, ridiculous hat, drinks, and snacks who often looks like she’s about to embark on a jungle safari rather than a 7-hour flight, and of course, the father, bearded, tall, clutching the boarding passes with a nervous disposition.
The kids will lose interest in the board game in about five minutes, the little boy being accused of cheating by his sister. They’ll soon discover, after their parents have read the safety procedures leaflet cover-to-cover (do you think we’ll crash?), that the in-flight entertainment is far more interesting, and the board game will lie forgotten somewhere under the life jacket. Not downright irritating as such, but depressing, as if you’ve stepped back into the dark ages.
3. The “Recliners” with a superiority complex
They are known to recline their seats at the most unfortunate moments, such as when you’ve just got your food and suddenly get lamb curry all over your shirt.
It would be fine if all the passengers reclined their airplane seats, then we’d all have the same amount of room, but it feels so inconsiderate to the person behind you, who, instead of being a kid “who doesn’t need much room anyway” will be a very shy and sweet old man who you wouldn’t dream of harassing.
A particularly evil variant of this are the ones who put their seat back to the most extreme angle possible, and then prop themselves with cushions.
4. The “That seat next to you is for MY bag” passengers
These airline passengers always think that somehow they have territorial rights to the seat next to them. They’ll always have a rucksack or handbag which must somehow be accommodated next to them rather than the locker above them like the rest of us. They might say “It’s ok if I use this seat right?” which of course you’ll reply “Sure!” but in your head you’re kicking yourself, wishing you’d said (in more colorful language) “Couldn’t we share it?”
5. The passengers who know everything about the flight…
… and in fact, know everything about life. For the first hour they’ll bumble on to a travelmate who keeps an ear open just so he can tell when to say “yes” to appease the mistake that is the man they asked to accompany them. They’ll either be subtly fumbling the pages of a newspaper or magazine in a vain attempt to hint to him that they’d rather listen to a car exhaust humming that the oft-repeated drivel they’re hearing. This man is probably the best on the list, as when he starts moving onto his political opinions and views on moral decline, the whole plane can participate, making his traveling partner turn purple with embarrassment.
Ah, the joys of traveling! Thanks for reading and enjoy your travels!
Photo of airline passengers originally posted by Charles Haynes
Topic: Top five Monday |
0 Comments
Tags: transportation
About the author
Paul Crompton is an avid reader and has a passion for cars and technology, primarily. He loves traveling to whichever exotic travel location which is cheap. His dream is to become an advertising executive.
Leave a comment